Mom struggled to cope

Oh my word, this is so sad.

A friend of the South African family, whose three children were found murdered at their home in New Malden, south London, said their mother was struggling to cope with her children’s genetic condition.

The victims, a four-year-old girl and three-year-old twin boys, had Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) which left one in a wheelchair and the others unable to move.

Their mother Tania has been arrested in connection with their deaths.

via iafrica.com UK murder: Mom struggled to cope.

 

It’s substance abuse folks

You can change the name to any city or town in South Africa or elsewhere in the world and this story would still be true after slight adjustment to numbers.  This is the single biggest problem that the world faces today. Global warming, war, famine and disease fade into insignificance in its shadow. 

MADISON COUNTY — Wouldn’t it be nice if more of our problems were simple? Sometimes it seems that everything is connected to everything else. Take our overcrowded jail.The vast majority of crimes committed today have their roots in some kind of substance abuse. Whether it is murder, assault, robbery, breaking and entering, domestic violence, DUI or public intoxication, substance abuse is generally at the base.Numerous studies put the percent of the population with substance abuse issues anywhere between 5 and 10 percent of the total population. This means there would be over 4,000 people with substance abuse problems in Madison County based on the 5 percent model. Our jail is designed to hold approximately 200 but frequently averages over 250 guests.  We have been learning that incarceration is an expensive but ineffective means of addressing substance abuse issues.Jail/prison overcrowding is caused by the increase in the growing number of crimes caused by substance abuse. Madison County, like many other Kentucky counties, is utilizing home incarceration programs to help alleviate jail overcrowding and save taxpayer money. These inmates have electronic ankle bracelets that track their movements. If they move out of designated areas they are targeted to be re-arrested.Home incarceration is a good first step, but this is where it starts to get complicated. A substance abuser has little chance of overcoming their addiction without some form of professional treatment. Substance abuse treatment services are very limited in Madison County and can only serve a fraction of the addicts.I am not sure the county could build a jail big enough to hold all the addicts. Are you starting to get the picture?Can we at least talk about what can be done to slow the flow of new addicts into our population? You remember the old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” How much better is it to prevent a person from becoming a substance abuser in the first place?Prevention must start at an early age. Studies have shown that a child who drinks alcohol before age 14 is seven times more likely to be alcohol dependent than a person who waits until age 21. Recent research indicates that alcohol and tobacco are bigger gateway drugs than previously thought.Many local governments are enacting Social Host Ordinances that hold adults accountable for alcohol being served to minors on their property. This serves to act as a deterrent to underage drinking. Sixty-nine percent of high school students responded in a survey that the alcohol they drink is at a friend’s house.All three of our local governments adopting a joint social host ordinance would be a small step toward preventing future substance abusers.You can learn more about social host ordinances doing an Internet search.As always I am appreciative of your thoughts on these and other issues in our county.

via It’s substance abuse folks » Viewpoints » The Richmond Register.

via It’s substance abuse folks » Viewpoints » The Richmond Register.

 

DIY Commodes

 

The Camping commode

I wouldn’t cut the hole square, I would trace a toilet seat more oval shape!

 

The desperation commode

 

Disability grants difficult to get. WHY?

Disability grants difficult to get. WHY?

Many, many disabled people cannot claim a disability grant merely because the joint income of husband and wife exceeded a certain amount, making the disabled partner totally dependent on the bread winner. In my case I can’t claim because my wife earns just over the said limit. I am married by ant nuptial agreement so legally what is hers, remains hers. Fortunately in my case my wife is a willing sharer.

 

If this was a scenario where the couple was estranged, how would the disabled person survive?

 

Johannesburg – Many disabled South Africans are living in poverty without access to the government’s disability grant, a University of Johannesburg study has found.

“Contrary to popular beliefs that the disabled live on social grants, the study found that 61% of the respondents interviewed in eight of the poorest wards in Johannesburg are not accessing the disability grant,” said researcher Lauren Graham.

The study into poverty among the disabled was conducted by the university’s centre for social development in Africa. Its findings were released on Friday.

Many respondents did not know about the disability grant or how to apply for it, said Graham.

Others claimed they did not have identity documents which would allow them to quality for the government grant.

Respondents also cited “red tape” and poor treatment by officials as reasons they did not make use of the grant.

Graham said people with disabilities were still experiencing discrimination and were being “pushed to the margins of society”.

Read more

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Disabled-living-in-poverty-study-20100514

 

 

 

Conversations with computers and others.

Conversations with computers and others.

“Shane how do I get the computer to send this document via e.mail?”

“Like this Dad don’t be so “Doff”!!!!!” (Then in a blur of moving fingers tik tik tik tik tik

tik tik— much too fast for my ageing eyes and brain to comprehend) “There, you see, it’s

so easy.”

That’s when my pride kicks into gear.

“Yes! Sure. I can manage now thanks for your help.”

Right, now let’s see. He pushed this button, clicked the mouse on this thingy and then he

double clicked the mouse on this do dat and thennnnn, “You have made an illegal entry

and windows will be shutting down in 5, 4, 3, seconds”

NOOOOOOOOOOOO. HOW DO I STOP THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!. HELP.

Damn it!! —- now where has the letter gone, or has it been lost in cyberspace, and I

didn’t save it to the ROM or RAM or CD, DVD, MP3, Stick, Stiffy or some other such

alien abbreviation. It took me an hour to type using the single digit method and now it’s

gone.

“Your virtual memory is low. Please wait while windows releases more memory”

“So now you insult me too. How do you know my memory is low. You don’t even know

how old I am you stupid machine.”

“Do you want to save your document before Windows shuts down?”

“Of course I do but I don’t know where you put it! You’re just trying to annoy me so I

won’t use you again. You’re so clever, you find it, and save it yourself. I didn’t even get a

chance to name the blasted thing and anyway I must be going, I have to take more blood

pressure medication.”

“You have a new message”.

Roy has sent you a Xmas greeting, click on attachment to view.

HAH now that’s easy. I just click the mouse on this paper clip and then———– “You

cannot view this message while you are off line. Do you want to go on line now?”

“It’s my message. How dare you tell me I can’t view it? Why did you tell me I had a

message in the first place? What do you mean I must go on line? You know I hate lines. I

never stand in lines for anything. GIMME my message”.

“Windows has detected a fatal error and will be shutting down in 10 seconds. Please save

all work in progress or it will be lost”. “THAT’S IT! —– I’LL FATAL ERROR YOU,

you @#$#%$#^%&*^%$ machine, no more, I can’t stand anymore of this”

“Shane please send an e.mail to all my friends and tell them to write to me because FRED

(Flipping Ridiculous Electronic Device) the computer and I have parted company and I

will not be using e.mail, or any other kind of computer generated mail for that matter,

ever again.

Does anybody know where I put my pen?”

 

Foam handles for weak hands

More weak hands ideas

IDEA JUNKY

View original post

 

Hand grip for weak hands

Great idea for helping those with weak hands

IDEA JUNKY

View original post

 

Dental & Doctor’s visits — What a pain

Dental & Doctor’s visits — What a pain

Now being disabled and wheelchair bound brings its own challenges but my latest visit to my dentist and my doctor proved to be a work of transportation and maneuvering par excellence. Firstly let me explain that for the past year all transferring from wheelchair to toilet or bed has been carried out with the aid of a mobile hoist. As a result of my last fall I haven’t walked for a year or two.

Now, the doctor’s visit was the easiest as we arranged for him to carry out his investigation into my state of health at my home. So I was duly hoisted onto my bed for the inspection. Liquorice my paranoid, schizophrenic, antisocial dog took it upon herself to protect me against all comers and had to first be removed by covering her with a blanket, then rolling her up in it so that she could be carried away from the scene of the crime that this strange doctor was going to inflict on me.

Blood pressure, ears, nose and throat were all inspected and found to be in working order.  This was done with the doctor and my wife scrambling all over me and the bed to get access to the selected orifice.

Next, came the prostate inspection which made my eyes pop out on stalks and water profusely. I had never had this inspection done before and I was shocked into a near comatose state when I was numbed into sudden silent screams. You can ask any man about this inspection and I am sure that you will hear some horrific stories. Suffice to say that my doctor has a finger like a thick German sausage or Salami which was suddenly and unexpectedly inserted to do the feel test on the gland. Thus the eyes on stalks quip. Then to fill a little bottle for a urine sample —— a work of art when your arms and hands don’t work all that well. I’m not even used to weeing into hospital sized urine bottles, let alone something resembling an expensive perfume bottle.

Lastly a series of vials of blood were drawn after the nurse had searched for a vein in both of my arms and eventually resorted to draining a good portion of my life’s fluid from my hand.

A few days later I had to pay a visit to a dentist because one of my upper molars had worked itself loose and was causing considerable pain.

After spending hours on the internet fruitlessly searching for a dentist specializing in treatment of disabled patients I conceded defeat and selected a dentist from the yellow pages, whose receptionist assured my wife that they had plenty of experience with wheelchair bound patients. The dentist is on the third floor with only one elevator and a flight of steps for access. (I shudder to think what pain and suffering I would have had to endure if the lift had broken or if there was a power failure)

After negotiating narrow passages I got to the door of the surgery to find that there was a building supporting pillar or column situated right outside (opposite) the entrance door, thus cutting the passage in half. After much performance going back and forth I managed to get into the surgery. Then I faced “THE CHAIR”.

Access to the side of the chair was limited so it was decided that the dentist and his assistant would pick me up and physically transfer me to the dentist’s chair. No mean feat seeing that I weigh around 85kg. Puffing and grunting from all three of us interspersed with squeals of concern from my wife became the order of the day while they maneuvered in all directions to get me comfortable.

He looked, felt and decided to extract the tooth, between sucking in great gulps of air. His assistant was equally distraught and while he also inhaled deeply he sounded rather like an asthmatic vacuum cleaner. It sounded something like hoooooooop peep, hooooooooop peep. It was all rather hilarious but it is difficult to laugh with dental paraphernalia protruding from your mouth. So my hawr, hawr added to the hooooooop peep and the dentists gasps we probably sounded like some heavy metal band at practice.

Injections followed. If they had used laughing gas, they ran the risk of me going into hysterics. We waited for the prescribed waiting period, before yanking the offending tooth from my jaw. Fortunately by this time we had all started breathing normally.

Then the huffing and puffing performance was repeated in reverse. After much hooooping  and peeeeping I was dumped back into my wheelchair. I negotiated the problem doorway after another few back and forth movements, then into the lift, praying all the way down that the thing wouldn’t breakdown.

Needless to say that after all this carrying, pushing and pulling, my body was rather sore. I am sure that once the dentist and his assistant had recovered they would have given instructions to the receptionist to be fully booked if I should ever phone for an appointment again.

I have these episodes written indelibly on my memory and unless I develop Alzheimer‘s I will suffer in silence rather than undergo more embarrassment and physical abuse.

 

Depression and I

Depression and I

I really hate this disease and what it’s doing to my body, my life and my family. I can’t go on with the pain and the mental anguish. The uncertainty and the fear are crushing my spirit. I don’t want to be here anymore. Please take me away Lord. I know I’m being selfish by wanting to leave this planet because my family and friends will miss me when I’m gone. (I hope)

Then I wake up to reality.

Thank you Lord for another day that I can see my loved ones, see the sunshine or rain, see the beauty of creation, play with my doggy companions. Chat to my friends online.

Ever felt like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders or that you couldn’t care less if the world comes to a sudden end right now, this minute, or have you felt like bursting into tears for no apparent reason.

We all have down days throughout our lives and some have more than others, when we feel that we just can’t carry on anymore. The disease, people, hurt and challenges that we must face become overwhelming and we want to implode under the pressure.

Many people who suffer from depression prefer the idea of finding a natural treatment for their condition rather than taking prescription anti-depressants.

Yes, maybe, if your depression is in the mild to moderate range of severity. A more severe or long-term depression should be treated by a qualified professional. If you are already taking prescription anti-depressants, do not also take any natural remedies at the same time without first consulting your doctor! In some cases, there can be dangerous interactions. Just because something is natural does not mean it is always safe for everybody.

Remember that before antidepressants were invented, people mostly relied on talk therapy to try to get better. This can still work really well, if you have a good therapist, and if paying for therapy isn’t a problem for you.

Not all types of psychotherapy work for depression. Cognitive therapy teaches the patient new, more realistic ways of thinking. Cognitive therapy has a record of curing depression that appears to be just as good as the rate of cure of most antidepressants.

Also remember that before therapists were invented, people talked over their problems with trusted friends, family members and spiritual advisors. So, if good therapists aren’t easily available where you live, you can try to look for other people to talk to that might help. Join online groups that have the same or similar problems. Discuss your feelings, fears and phobias with people who have “been there, done that”. It helps tremendously to realise that you are not the only person with these problems. But there is little point in joining a group if you don’t participate in the discussions. If you are a private person that has difficulty in disclosing your innermost fears and thoughts, you can use a pseudonym. Nobody needs to know your true identity.

I personally prefer to go the full disclosure route because I might be able to help someone else by revealing all. I also prefer to place my trust in people I can identify with rather than some false picture or icon. But that is my preference, and does not mean that these people are any more sinister, secretive or threatening than thousands of others. You will connect with some and avoid others, as is human nature. We don’t connect with everybody, but nurture the friendships you make.

Generate other interests like painting, reading, TV, crochet, woodwork, writing, photography etc. With the key word being interest.

As soon as you start feeling down, immerse yourself in your interest, rather than allow yourself to wallow in self pity. Remember that the longer you stay at the pity party, the more difficult it is to shrug it off and get on with the happy part of your life. I see self pity as a drug like alcohol, the more you drink the less stable you become and the longer it takes to reach sobriety, so likewise with self pity, the longer you stay at the party, the more difficult it becomes to say goodbye. I prefer to think of the many blessings that I have received throughout my life, rather than all the stupid things that I have done. Positive outlook breeds positive response. A negative attitude has the tendency of clouding your vision and perception of life and encourages negativity in others.

Life is a series of choices.

You can:

Choose to be positive or negative.

Choose to stay poor or to achieve riches

Choose to be clean or dirty

Choose the language you speak

Choose where you want to live

Choose to accept a marriage proposal or remain single

Choose your profession

Choose to accept or reject

Choose to fight or not

And the list goes on and on. Sometimes we make the wrong choices and end up in catastrophic situations, but wrong or right, it was or is a choice. You can stay as you are for the rest of your life or you can change. Change the way you do or see things. Change your outlook on life. The choice is yours.

So, consider incorporating some of these ideas into your life if you are feeling a bit depressed.

Serious depression may need much more intervention. There is no quick fix.

 

Dependence on normality

Dependence on normality

Today I realised how much I, as a disabled person, relies on the uninterrupted supply of electricity to keep me serviced, sane and occupied.

Eishkom got my blood pressure to sky rocket for 8 hours before a semblance of normality descended on my life once again.

Let me explain how I would be in big trouble if there were extensive power cuts. Firstly with no power comes cold water, so my bed bath would be very unpleasant, then in order for my carer to get me out of my bed and into my wheelchair we make use of a hoist. Both of which require batteries to be kept charged. Then to be hoisted onto a toilet which would spray water and blow dry my behind if there was power. Electric toothbrush and shaver also need charging before moving on to the kitchen for breakfast where all the appliances are rendered useless. No breakfast!

Being disabled my arms aren’t strong enough to get out the LP gas cylinder, pot and other paraphernalia in order to boil water or make porridge etc. Still no breakfast! Unless I have a carer 24/7

Forget about tummy rumbling and do something to keep me occupied. No radio, TV or computer to keep me occupied and my cell phone needs charging, I can’t read because all my books are on my computer and in any case my hands are too weak to hold a book or turn the pages, so I sit in silence waiting for my life to get back to normal once the power comes back on. Oh how this disease really hits home when my normality is disrupted. There is often no alternative that I can turn to.