Last night I choked on some food and eventually cleared my air ways after a couple of hours of coughing and spluttering. While I was struggling to breathe and my heart was pounding from a mild panic attack I realized that with this disease I could be called home at any time. Although I am fully prepared for that to happen I realised that I would not always have the opportunity to say what I would like to say to each and every one of my friends and family. I then spent the night lying awake feeling sorry for myself and I couldn’t wait to get to my computer this morning.
I started my day reading my favourite piece of scripture Psa 23 verses 4 and 5 and while meditating on these verses I received an email from a friend with another favorite prayer/poem of mine which so fitted my mood and encapsulated exactly how I was feeling. I want to share this heart rending poem with all my family and friends that I love dearly. File it somewhere and when someone you know is called home, read it and know that they will be in your heart forever.
IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I’d have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I’d say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, “This is eternity,
And all I’ve promised you.”
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day is the same way,
There’s no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart